you know, you could just ask

Have you ever spent a little too much time trying to figure things out for yourself just because you’re stubborn?

Have you ever just wished someone would have given you a little more information, so that you’d be clearer on the objective, or the direction or the expectations or the methodology?

Have you ever wished someone would just spend the time telling you the first step so that you could get started with out having to invent everything from scratch?

Have you ever needed a hand with something, but you push through doing it on your own because no one volunteered to help you?

You know, you could just ask.

But no, we keep going on our own. We make up a story about why we can’t ask for help and what it would mean about us if we did ask. (BTW, who said writing fiction is hard? We do it all the time!)

Why do we do that? Why don’t we just ask for help?  Because we’re afraid of looking stupid? Because we’re afraid of being embarrassed? Because we’re afraid of being found out? Because we’re afraid we’ll be in debt to someone? Because we’re afraid that we’ll be found out?

Because we’re afraid.

Doesn’t that seem silly? From this safe little space we are in right now, just sitting here reading a couple of paragraphs, looking out at the times we could have used some help and didn’t ask for it…doesn’t it seem a little silly not to have asked? Don’t our fears seem just a tad overblown? Yeah, sure, we can tell ourselves that we learned so much more by struggling, and it’s good for our virtues, and because it didn’t kill us it only made us stronger and other bullshit.

But…how about trying something different? Why don’t we make a plan and a pact. The next time I need help or clarification or guidance, I’m going to ask. How about you? Let’s pinky swear.

In the meantime, remember these things: You are loved. We are all loved. Let’s all be kind. And in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love, and light in the shadows,


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