What’s the word I’m looking for?

I’ve been trying to figure out what’s the word for that thing, you know, the opposite of peacefulness inside our heads? I was using noise for a while, because it truly is loud. I played around with battleground and war zone but I hate violent imagery. And while there’s lots of struggle and drama involved, I don’t want to promote the concept of a war going on inside our head. I’ve decided to get rid of as much violence in my language as possible. But I’m getting off track…

I decided I’m going to coin microdrama and to me, it lives in the same family as microaggression. (In case you don’t know, microaggression is the brilliant term for the constant barrage of hostile messages  – intentional or not, verbal or not – targeting someone from a marginalized group.)

Microdrama doesn’t mean insignificant, in fact, just the opposite, and there is an insidious and compound effect.

Microdrama is where every single moment seems like an impeding crisis. Every decision you make – big or small – feels like it has monumental consequences. There is drama inherent in every just about everything.

Every potential mistake feels like failure.

Living in a state of microdrama is highly stressful and exhausting – and it’s self-inflicted.

Living in microdrama is like driving on a really bad road in a car with bad tires and bad alignment – constantly jarring, really noisy and very uncomfortable.

Microdrama does come from being out of alignment.  Your thoughts and beliefs are out of alignment with your desires and goals.

Even though you are trying to be your best self and achieve your goals and do good things in the world, you have a lot going on that makes it really difficult. You judge yourself using standards that don’t fit you. You aren’t really living by YOUR values – intentionally or not.

So yeah, that’s the opposite of peace.

And it’s totally optional.

If you knew you were heading out on a long road trip, wouldn’t you check your tires and alignment?

Maybe 2019 is a road trip.

Honestly, I didn’t think that’s where this was going when I started writing. I think that’s proof that I’m on the right track.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!


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