when the switch flips

There is this thing that happens occasionally for me.

I don’t understand it. I don’t know what causes it. I certainly can’t predict when it will happen. I don’t know what it means. But I recognize it when it happens.

A switch inside me flips.

In one moment, I am different from the previous moment.

Sometimes it is related to something simple and (relatively)unimportant, such as a preference. One season I drink cherry limeade. All the time. It’s my drink. Then one day, I don’t. I drink iced tea. I have less than zero interest in a thing that was normal for me before.

That’s a small example, but it’s pretty representative of what I’m talking about. I didn’t gradually get tired of one flavor. I didn’t run out of one and just buy another. I didn’t make a conscious decision, and it isn’t boredom. At one point, one thing seemed right for me. The switch flipped, and then it didn’t.

This does happen with bigger things, too. I was pretty obsessed with ceramics for a few years. Then one day, the switch flipped and I wasn’t. I still had a kiln and a lot of clay, tools and glazes to donate. But I was just done.

For me, it also happens with relationships. With groups. With schools of thought. With religion. Even habits – one day I smoked, the next I didn’t, and haven’t for 30+ years.

I know that some of it has to do with personality, of course. I’m all in, then I’m not. But it also has to do with seasons, I think. In life there are seasons, and we change our leaves to adjust. Sometimes it’s a gradual thing. Sometimes the switch flips.

I wonder why some changes are so sudden and absolute. Why are some changes so gradual that you barely notice? Or some are evolutionary, but you can still trace them?

I hope that I never flip the curiosity switch. If I do, I guess that will be a sign that it’s time to move on to the next adventure.

I’m curious. How does it work for you?

In the meantime, remember these things: You are loved. We are all loved. Let’s all be kind. And in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love, and light in the pages,

Maggie

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