I’ve cultivated my life pretty carefully so that I don’t need a lot of patience these days.

I’ve weeded out a lot of stupid and annoying people. I am aware that I’m being judgmental right there. But it’s also some truth.

I don’t doomscroll. I don’t watch much news. I don’t engage in a lot of controversial conversations (aka arguments).

I try to educate myself on topics so that I can see multiple sides to an issue, even if I don’t agree. Even if I have a pretty strong opinion. (Mostly, not always. Definitely not if patriarchy is involved.)

I’ve changed how I think about irritating people (the rude drivers, the selfish people in stores, the people who wear too much cheap fragrance.). Mostly. Not completely.

So… I don’t have to have much patience with people.

I don’t have to wait much, either. There’s quick delivery for stuff. If I’m going to have time before something happens, I make sure I have a book or something to occupy myself. And If I have a long time to wait – like for a river cruise up the Rhine, for example, I just fill it with anticipation.

So… I don’t need to have much patience with time.

So yeah, basically, I just described how I don’t do much that I don’t want to do, and how I’m a spoiled rotten brat. Of course I don’t need much patience.

I learned about patience a long time ago. I had to learn a different definition – patience was more than just waiting. My younger brother became a quadriplegic when he was 21, and I was his primary caregiver for several years. He had to learn how to do things for himself again, in totally different ways. He only had partial use of his hands and arms. Sometimes he’d ask me to do things for him, other times he’d want to do them himself. I had to learn about the patience of a parent…the patience that isn’t about waiting. It’s about watching and letting them do and learn and experience for themselves. With my brother gone and the kids mostly grown (do they ever really grow up? I didn’t) I don’t have much need for that kind of patience, either.

Then sometimes something or someone comes along and reminds me that I do still need to keep my patience skills sharp. They need to be at the ready. I don’t really want to need a warm-up period to be able to flex my patience muscles.

So… maybe I should have a patience workout to keep myself in shape. At the very least, I could practice on myself!

In the meantime, remember these things: You are loved. We are all loved. Let’s all be kind. And in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love, and light in the pages,


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