We have established that you are good. We did that a long time ago. You were born good. You still want to be good.
No, I don’t mean a goodie-two-shoes (where did that phrase even come from?) I mean a good person. As in not evil. Not a narcissist. Not a sociopath. Not oblivious. Just simply good.
I know I said recently (here or somewhere, I can’t remember exactly) that when I realized that deep down inside I just wanted to be good – and that I was – that it was one of the biggest reliefs I’ve ever experienced. I had spent a lot of time making myself into some kind of monster, telling stories that always made me intentionally bad. I told those stories so well that I started believing them, and I didn’t think I could ever change. And I hated it, because I wanted to be good. I really did.
I was working my 12 step program, going through my inventory with my sponsor, and as I was honestly reviewing things, I came to understand that I was not a monster. I was wounded, off track and messed up, but in my case most of the damage I did was to myself (most, not all.)
And so, I reconciled with myself. I made it okay to want to be good, even though I’m not perfect. My life didn’t have to be some kind of tragic drama where I wanted to be good, but couldn’t because of uncontrollable circumstances. Just accept the fact that I have a good soul. Like I said, such a huge relief. And so the story changed… and you know, you can control the story rather than the other way around.
So it doesn’t end there, though. A few weeks ago I was talking with a friend of many years. He said he worried about doing enough good to be good. It was actually something he worried about a lot.
I thought about it for about 3 seconds then blurted out my opinion: If you are good, then you do good. Worry and guilt don’t help at all. In fact, they distract. Of course you can always do more and you can always do less. But by nature, all that you do is for good.
For goodness sake…let go of that worry and guilt!
In the meantime, remember these things: You are loved. We are all loved. Let’s all be kind. And in all things – progress, not perfection!
p.s. when I was looking for an image in Canva for “colorful goodness” tons of pictures of baked goods appeared. So I just went with it.