There is one persistent voice in my mind. Mine. It’s my narrator, my instructor, my air traffic controller.
I’m not always aware of what’s being said, but I’m listening and following directions. Unconsciously, if you will.
I find it extremely useful to periodically stop and observe the kinds of things that are being said. It’s a good maintenance task. If I don’t stop and check periodically, I find that all kinds of yucky stuff finds a sneaky path into and onto the airwaves of my mind.
Yucky stuff is the technical term for old programming, outdated beliefs, social programming, shoulds and other people’s business.
I usually get an alert that it’s time for maintenance, but I don’t always pay attention. The alert comes in a few forms, just to make sure that we cover most of the bases. It could show up as things coming out of my mouth that I don’t like. It could show up as sliding into bad behavioral habits, especially mindless activities. The clarion alert is when I get really judgmental and feel bad about myself, especially for the unimportant things (such as catching a glance in a mirror and instead of smiling at myself, I berate some aspect of my anatomy or appearance.
The alerts are always some form of unkindness, whether it is to myself or others.
When I get those alerts, I have several tricks in my toolbox to tune things up.
The first step is to start listening carefully to the narrator. What is she actually saying? What language is she using? I have to confess that sometimes, when I stop and listen to what she is saying, it makes me want to cry because it is so mean. Usually she is saying that shit to or about me. I would never let her get away with treating anyone else like that…why do I let her to do it to me?
Next I have to open things up and pull out the old programming. Yank those puppies out and replace them with new, conscious thoughts and beliefs that reflect who I want to be, who I truly am. I might have to do a little investigation to find out if I’m being unduly influenced and cut that off at the source. Other people’s values don’t really have a place in the narrator’s script, you know.
And finally, I have to reinforce the replacements. That takes some creative thinking. I might need to find more body positivity resources, or seek out some spiritual or woo-woo reading that will bolster my faith. Or find the right music. The best option of all is the pink option – loving kindness. The pink option to hang out with people that I love and who love me and listen to the things that they say – about me, about other people and the world around us. That gets the narrator back on the right script!
In the meantime, remember these things: You are loved. We are all loved. Let’s all be kind. And in all things – progress, not perfection!
Love and light,
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