Remember how I always say that words matter? Words matter. What you say matters. How you say it matters.
Especially when we are talking to ourselves, because we talk to ourselves a lot! Have you ever stopped to listen and pay attention to what you say to yourself?
If you haven’t made the effort to talk nicely to yourself, the chances are pretty good that you are mean, very critical and judgmental. You would never talk that way to someone else – especially not someone you loved. But we get away with saying horrible shit to ourselves all the time.
Actually, we don’t really get away with it, we just take it.
This week, I’d like you to try something. Pay attention to what kind of things you say to yourself. Your self-talk. Be curious about it. Don’t go judging yourself if you find out that you really have an inner bully. Just observe.
Look at your motivation. I know you aren’t saying these things just to be mean. It’s learned behavior. Once upon a time, your brain learned that it needed to nag you and criticize and maybe even berate you if you were ever going to get better (we were all teenagers once, after all!) But how’s that working for you now? How does it feel? Okay, let’s change it.
Let’s try the KISS method. Keep it Simple Sweetheart.
I bet you’ve heard that last S stand for Stupid or even Shithead. But you don’t talk to yourself like that this week. Maybe never again.
When you catch the negative self-talk, stop. Translate into what you really want to say. Find the simplest, most loving way to say it.
Here’s an example:
“Get your lazy ass up and do the dishes, you slob. You’re such a terrible housekeeper.”
Could translate to:
“It’s time to do the dishes, sweetheart. You love how a clean kitchen feels.”
Don’t forget the term of endearment. That’s gonna feel super awkward, because you aren’t used to talking to yourself that way. Get used to it. It feels great. Oh, by the way, it is waaaaay more effective at getting yourself to do the things you want. You’ll see.
And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!
Love and light,