Is Recreational Lying a Thing?

When I was in my 20s, I played with something I call recreational lying.  I confess that I still play at it sometimes.

I studied abroad for my last year of undergrad. Every time I met someone new, I would make up a different story about who I was, where I came from, what my parents did, etc. I never really did it for any evil or malicious reason, and not if I knew I could see the person again.

I did it because it was fun. I imagined myself in these alternate circumstances, how I would be different, how it would shape me. What new possibilities opened up if  I didn’t see myself as restricted by my “real” story?

I reinvented myself by changing my story. Over and over again.

I think that prepared me to be able to reinvent myself when I needed to be able to make a change. Over the years, I have made A LOT of changes, and I think all of them have been progress, have been evolutionary (probably because I told myself that they were…see what I did there?)

I learned the power of the story I tell about myself, and that I can change it.

I learned that if I tell myself a new story enough times, I will believe it.

I learned that even playing pretend and imagining a new story for myself changed me a little, opened me up to yearning and to new possibilities. Because of this, changing our story is a core part of Color Thinking.

Maybe now is a perfect time for some recreational lying. Not necessarily to others, but to ourselves. I feel like I crave it. I want to tell myself new stories about who I am and how I will be and what I will do. I want to tell myself adventurous tales about how I am not limited by my past or by current circumstances, and imagine how I will emerge from them differently.

I think that as I prepare for 2021, I’m not going to do the usual kind of planning. I believe I will indulge myself in some recreational lying.

In the meantime, remember these things: You are loved. We are all loved. Let’s all be kind. And in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,



This year in unlike any other year so far. I would normally never suggest giving coaching as a gift, but this year, I think it is appropriate. I have created a gift set – an online color thinking program bundled with 4 individual sessions, and it comes with an autographed book and card to stick under the tree, if you’d like. Think of it as a Spa for the Spirit. (Yeah, that’s the link)

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