I didn’t know what I didn’t know.
I could beat myself up with whips of shame and embarrassment for not knowing. I could cower in the closet with excuses. I could sit in a corner and shiver with guilt for not doing better. I could rip up the carpet and try to hide my mistakes underneath.
I didn’t know. But now I do, so none of those things will work.
I don’t know exactly what to do about it all, so I decide to wander a bit.
I’m walking along the cobblestone alley of my life, looking down at my feet so that I don’t stumble and fall.
I look up and notice that I’m walking past a storefront. It’s an old-timey hardware store. It has a sign in the window.
“If you don’t have the tools, you can’t use them.”
Huh. That’s true, I think to myself, and keep walking. I’m paying a little more attention to my surroundings now.
Up ahead, on the side of a building, I see some colorful graffiti.
If you know better, do better.
Okay, yes. I see.
I didn’t know. Now I do. I know better.
So I make my way home. Along the way, I go back to the hardware store and pick up some tools. While I’m inside, I ask for some help, to make sure I get the right ones.
Then I go back and apologize.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. But now I do. And I also have some new tools. I am going to do better.”
And I will.
In the meantime, remember these things: You are loved. We are all loved. Let’s all be kind. And in all things – progress, not perfection!
Love, and light in the pages,