Last weekend, I was talking to Jordan, responding to a simple question: “What did you do this weekend?”
I listed all the chores I had done (our joke is that I call that relaxing) and started coming up with excuses for the things I hadn’t done. “But I did extra laundry, so that should count for something, right?”
Without missing a beat, he said, “Hey, it’s YOUR scorecard.”
I snorted a laugh. (And I’m not admitting to any iced tea coming out my nose, okay?)
He’s absolutely right. Wait, is he? Maybe not.
It sounds suspiciously like my mother’s scorecard. How much did you get accomplished? Were you productive? Did you earn your keep? Are you worthy?
I love my mother, but I don’t want to live by her rules. I sure don’t want to be scored by them.
So, I need to re-evaluate my personal weekend scorecard. Hmmm….sounds like a job for Color Thinking – because I want to make sure I do this is a new way.
How do I want to feel during and at the end of the weekend? Well, I am lucky enough to have a job and be working hard during the week, so I want to really feel like I had a weekend. I want to feel like I have plenty of time, plenty of choices and that I spend the time doing things that make my heart happy. I want the weekend to help me balance out the stress of the week. I don’t want to feel guilty for not getting enough done. I want to feel renewed and refreshed.
Well, that calls for green! So I do a little color breathing in green and start with some green questions.
How am I making myself feel trapped on weekends? If I step back, what do I see? Is there a pattern here? What am I making my “score” mean? What do I make it mean about me?
As I answer the questions, I remembered something I’d forgotten. Growing up, we had “work weekends” virtually every weekend. Weekends were not for playing or visiting friends or going somewhere fun. Weekends were for getting all the work done around the property that we couldn’t get done because we were too busy with jobs or school. Seriously. What were we, pioneering homesteaders? I don’t know why, but my parents believed that you proved your worth by working hard doing difficult things.
I had unconsciously built my weekend scorecard with inherited beliefs, not chosen ones.
As I think about what I want my new scorecard to be, I ask myself these questions: What options do I really have for how I spend my weekend? What will make me feel how I want to feel? What will bring me balance?
I really like these questions, how they make me feel and the answers I find. They are surprisingly easy and accessible. As I build my scorecard around my chosen beliefs, the guilt just drops away. That’s always a good sign.
Of course, there’s always another layer. I can always go deeper. What if I didn’t have a weekend scorecard at all? Yeah, what if….How can I… Fun things to ponder next weekend!
In the meantime, remember these things: You are loved. We are all loved. Let’s all be kind. And in all things – progress, not perfection!
Love and light,
The book has been launched. People are telling me that they love it, and it’s perfect for right now. That makes me really happy. You can get a copy here: https://bit.ly/RainbowOnion If you do get it, please leave a review.
Two upcoming events:
On Sept. 12, 2020 I am having an “Ask Me Anything (about Color Thinking or The Rainbow Onion)” Zoom call as a present for anyone who posts a review on Amazon.
On Sept. 26 we are starting a 4 week Color Thinking course. I’m still working out the logistics, but the topic will be how to use Color Thinking to handle stress and anxiety. Details coming soon!